Andrew,
Your letter writer is dead on when asking "where is the grace?" when it comes to the Catholic Church.
But grace comes from the Holy Spirit.  And a Church which is infallible in "core" areas doesn't need the Holy Spirit anymore, do they? 
Grace doesn't come from obedience.  But power does.  I suspect Pope Benedict understands the latter quite well, and has a well crafted agreement about the former.
Fred
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